A Period of One Week, A Length of Eternity
by GLAD Killer Association
Summary: Are our heroes, the dumbo jumbo Wes and the attractive [especially to Wes] Rui up to it? Can they save the world from Cipher? Read to find out! Please Read & Review!
1. Introduction

_Chapter 1: Introduction_

Ash, Max, Misty and Gary huddled together in a corner of the supposedly most haunted house in Orre. A certain group of 'baddies' called Cipher had dared them to spend a day in the house. It was a deal between them. If they managed to survive without chickening out for a day, Cipher will release Professor Oak's Blastoise. Misty, glad to be the only female in the 4-people team, was euphoric.

Gary could only flick his hair in every direction, up, down, left, and right (except off his head). Ash was petting his beloved Pikachu absent-mindedly, quite unaware that it disliked being pet.

"Pika-Pika!" remarked the yellow mouse-looking Pokemon disapprovingly. Sparks started to erupt out of the red spots on its cheeks…

"Arrgh!" There was a blinding flash of light as Ash got electrocuted with Thunderbolt. Max offered his condolences and his speciality, Max Potion. Ash rolled his eyes but accepted it grudgingly.

"Humph! If it weren't for Gramps, I wouldn't be here!" muttered a certain someone with a HUGE ego. "Who cares about Blastoise, anyway? I'm leaving. Smell ya later!" he said, trotting off.

Max, who longed to be old enough to own Pokemon, glared at Gary, hands on hips. He re-adjusted his gigantic, geeky spectacles and started giving him a long, nerdy, typical-Max lecture before he could chicken out.

Misty immediately seized this golden opportunity to spend quality time with Ash. She hitched her shorts higher up, revealing long, white legs. Ash looked uncomfortable. Misty felt for his hands. Pikachu, disgusted at such romance, gave Ash another shock.

Misty glared at the yellow mouse, took a pokeball, twisted in style, and shouted, "Starmie, I choose you!"

_Dumb choice. I mean, water and electric? Come on…_

"Watch it! It is _my_ Pikachu!" shouted Ash, emphasising "my".

Misty, who just realised this, blinked innocently and said sweetly, "Hmm-hmm, I knew. I took it out for…uhm…er…extra protection against ghosts…you know…"

Ash sweatdropped. Misty continued, "After all, these are no ordinary Pokemon ghosts like Gengar…These are real, scary, eerie ones…" she trailed off shivering.

Ash MAJOR sweatdropped at this professional liar who scared herself with her own lies. Misty then felt for his hand again and accidentally pressed a…button.

"AHH!" they screamed as they fell through a trapdoor.

MEANWHILE

"Yeah. And if Blastoise is not returned, your grandfather will go bonkers and …" Max carried on, quite oblivious to the fact that Gary had dozed off and Misty and Ash had fallen through a trapdoor.

BACK TO THE SITUATION

"It's so creepy in here!" squealed Misty.

"It's all your fault," Ash said drily. "Pikachu, Flash!"

When Pikachu Flashed, some groaning and clanking noises could be heard echoing down the cellars.

"It's kind of private, though…" said Misty, flashing Ash a seductive smile.

Ash was on the verge of murdering Misty but controlled his emotions. He needed her. Yuck, that sounded disgusting. Correction: he needed her good lying and battling skills. Anyway, there was always Pikachu to do the job…

"Pika-Pika!" said the little disgusted-by-Misty's-comment Pikachu. It sprang into action and gave Misty an electric shock. Misty glared at it.

"Starmie, bubble beam!"

"Pikachu, no…"

Too late. Pikachu sent a full-blast wave of Thunder out and knocked Misty and Starmie out. Cold.

"No…"moaned Ash. "I don't blame you, though, Pikachu. But now, we have to wait for them to revive naturally. Unless…I have some…REVIVES!" shouted Ash excitedly as he dug out some of Max's speciality, Max Revives, from his backpack.

MEANWHILE

"And this will lead to a lack of Pokedexes in Johto, and in long term, to a lack of knowledge on Pokemon, then leading to…"

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Misty rubbed her aching back as she commanded Starmie to retreat. Starmie, only too happy to do so after that fiasco, shot a jet of water out, which unfortunately, landed on Pikachu.

It's cheeks glowed and…

_Kept in suspense? Please review! J Thanks! I hope you get the Max-and-his-speciality Jokes! J_


	2. Team Rocket Emerges

_Chapter 2: Team Rocket Emerges_

"Pikachu! No!" yelled Ash, dashing forwards. He managed to protect Misty and Starmie but…was knocked out cold.

"Pika-Pikachu?" asked Pikachu innocently, giving Misty a what-did-I-do-now look.

Misty was only too scared. She was shivering at the thought of ghosts lurking somewhere in the dark. Feeling colder and colder, she wished she had something to put on other than her short yellow sleeveless shirt and shorts. Her eyes then landed on Ash…and his clothes.

MEANWHILE

"So those are the long term effects in general. Now, let's zoom in to each and every Pokemon in the Pokedex…" Max paused for breath, took a big gulp of Big Gulp, and continued, "Ok. For example, Charmander, Charmeleon, Charizard and Growlithe will be affected because of the fact that…"

"Zzz…"snored Gary, drooling peacefully away on Max's feet.

A silhouette of a woman with long hair, a man with shoulder length hair, and a whiskered cat could be seen in the distance…but not by Gary and Max.

THE OAK SITUATION

"Huh? This doesn't make sense…" Professor Oak mused to himself as he fiddled with the Pokegear.

_Old folks nowadays. I mean, even Golems like me can operate Pokegears (except for our big, clumsy hands)_

"Elm? How do you operate this complicated fiddly-widdly thing?" burst Oak out loud finally.

Elm rolled his eyes and thought him. "This 'complicated fiddly-widdly thing' is operated by only the press of a few buttons, like this. See? Oops…Hmm…"

_Can I roll my eyes? Golem, Golem! Nope. I'll just roll down mountains later.)_

In fact, half an hour later, both Professors were bent over the 'complicated fiddly-widdly thing'.

Poor Ash, Misty, Max and Gary. They could not be communicated with in the meantime.

_Because of obsolete old folks. laughs maniacally Just kidding._

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Yup, she did that. _This is one of the reasons why it is rated T._

Not long later, Misty was dressed in Ash's clothes, leaving Ash in…underwear.

"That's much warmer!" squealed Misty. "I'm still cold though. What about some…body heat?" wondered Misty, glancing at Ash's toned, warm body.

"Kekeke…Hehh…Hehh…Hehh."

"Wha-What's th-tha-t-that?" stuttered Misty. She was about to cuddle up to Ash in fear when the protective-of-its-owner Pikachu gave her a light shock: a warning.

"Ok, ok, fine," grumbled Misty grouchily. Misty was at a loss. Her Pokemon were all water-typed. Not a fabulous warming approach.

MEANWHILE

"…To unite all people within our nation!"

"…To protect our world from devastation!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Meowth!"

"Wo-buffet!"

"Therefore, pokemon like Beautifly and Butterfree might become extinct because of… – WHA-AT! What are you guys doing here!"

Team Rocket smiled and started doing a kind of Japanese dance (when they sort of jog on the spot).

"We have set the trap! Now only to activate it. By scaring Misty using voice recorders, we can easily grab hold of Pikachu!" said James.

"And maybe a few other cute Pokemon to please Boss with, and to make up for our countless failures!" exclaimed Jessie gleefully.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_How is it so far? I am not that perfect at writing, but I hope you catch the jokes. Please Review! Thanks!_


	3. Bye Bye for now, Team Rocket

_Chapter 3: Bye-Bye for now, Team Rocket_

THE OAK SITUATION

A crowd of old professors were gathered around the 'complicated fiddly-widdly thing'.

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Misty looked in interest at Ash's pokeballs. Could they contain Fire-typed Pokemon to warm her up? She took out one of the pokeballs.

"Go, whatever-pokemon-which-is-inside!" she hollered.

An angry Lapras glared at her. It then got ready for a freezing-cold Surf attack.

Just then, Ash awoke. "Stop your Lapras, Ash!" screamed Misty in pure terror.

"Lapras, enough, come back!"

Apparently, Lapras did not recognise Ash-in-underwear. It looked up and down in interest at Ash. Then, Lapras took a deep breath for a full-blash Blizzard attack.

MEANWHILE

"AAH! Ash, Misty, Gary, HELP! I want my MOMMY! Waaaaa…" Max started whimpering.

"Zzz…Hmm…zzz…go…Arcanine…" Gary mumbled, dreaming about battling the Elite Four.

A full-grown fiery dog-like Pokemon appeared. Maybe it might appear to be useful to Misty, but definitely not to Max. Max screamed. He could not command Arcanine, he was not an official trainer. Its appearance was more like a hindrance than a help.

"Go…Victreebel!" screamed James. It appeared and promptly swallowed James up. Whole.  
While Jessie started screaming her head off, Max took hold of this opportunity to get rid of the Rockets. But how? He could not command Arcanine…He dug into his backpack and found…

"My speciality, Max Repels!" shouted Max eagerly as he sprayed to Max Repels into the Rockets' face (Victreebel's face for James' case).

"AAH!" screamed the Rockets. They ran away, straight into the trapdoor.

BACK TO THE _STICKY _SITUATION

"No. Lapras! Don't! Don't you recognise me?" Ash pleaded.

"Or me?" asked Misty.

Amidst the dirty looks from Ash and Misty, Pikachu simply hopped around the cellar singing "Pika, Pika, Pika-Pika". It knew that Lapras would not hurt it.

"Lap-Lapras?" asked Lapras inquiringly. It neither recognised Misty-in-Ash nor Ash-in-Underwear.

It then started to use Blizzard.

Suddenly, the 5 jokers, James in Victreebel, arrived as if sent by guardian angels. They landed accurately riiiiiiiight in the middle of Ash-and-Misty and Lapras.

Lap-Lapras!" said Lapras, Blizzard-ing Team Rocket. They flew away with their traditional "Team Rocket is blasting off again!".

Ash glared at Misty. "now, give over the clothes."

"Pika-Pika!" The yellow mouse agreed, then went to the back of the cellar and started playing with Lapras.

"NOO!" squealed Misty over the din Pikachu and Lapras were making.

"Why?"

"I-I-I took out my own clothes!"

"I don't care! Give me my clothes!" cried Ash, tugging at her/his clothes.

"NO!" screamed Misty as her/his jacket fell off.

THE OAK SITUATION

"Hmm…what happens if we press…this button?" wondered Oak.

KABOOM!

The black-faced (literally and idiomatically) Professors blinked as the Pokegear burst and shrivelled into flames and smoke.

_At least I know Golems aren't really the clumsiest in the world)._

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Ash managed to get his jacket and baseball cap on. He then called Lapras to retreat. Lapras, upon recognising Ash, stuck its tongue out at him playfully, and obeyed. Then Ash turned back to Misty. He was about to pull off his shirt from Misty when…

BONK!

Misty mallet-ed Ash.

BONK, BONK, BONK, BONK, BONK!

Ash (with an extremely flat head) blinked and said, "Huh? Who exactly are you?"

MEANWHILE

Arcanine and Max were very busy playing "catching". More like, Max running away from Arcanine, though. Although Max kept trying to wake the drooling Gary up, his tries were fruitless.

"Zzz…zzz…"Gary slept on.

While running away from an Arcanine which was snapping at his heels, Max rummaged through his backpack for potions to wake Gary up. But he had no Awakenings! No Full Heal! No Full Restore! Not even a drop of coffee! How was he going to get out of this situation?

THE OAK SITUATION

Some chao da bee hoon hair-ed heads, or burnt noodle-like hair-ed heads (because the flames shrivelled up their hair, were stunned and looked as if they would never wake up.

One of my fellow Golems was watching from outside and had to do something. How did he help?

EARTHQUAKE!

_Uhm. I just hope you like it. Please review! _


	4. Mostly about Matchmaking

_Chapter 4: Mostly about Match-making_

TEAM ROCKET

Apparently, Team Rocket landed in somewhere desolate. The bad-tempered Jessie folded her arms and glared at Victreebel, or rather, James, who was inside it. Victreebel gave her an innocent look and spat James out.

"I can't believe our plan is ruined, all because on those twerps!" bellowed Jessie.

_As if bellowing to a wimp like James can improve the situation._

"Plus, it's Christmas! We ought to be celebrating!" said James, as usual, agreeing with everything Jessie said.

Victreebel thought it was time to do some match-making. It took a deep breath and spat a green object out onto the ceiling in between Jessie and James.

Ditto for Meowth. It immediately dug out a cake out of nowhere.

_Know what happened? Here is a hint: No wonder mistletoes are so smelly._

"Wo-buffet!"

BACK TO THE SITUATION

"Uhm, Ash, you aren't pretending, are you?" asked Misty anxiously.

"Huh? My name is Ash? Isn't that the product of incineration plants?" asked Ash.

"Pleeeease, don't tell me you have amnesia!" pleaded Misty. "Pikachu, Help!"

THE OAK SITUATION

The Professors were momentarily stunned by the sudden tremor. Then, after the effects wore off, they awoke out of their reverie.

The Professors sweatdropped at the remains of the Pokegear. Soot and ashes trailed to the ground in clumps.

"All our hard work…gone!" asked Oak, shocked.

_Hard work, yeah, right. All they did was to press the buttons on the Pokegear till it exploded._

Matters became worse for Oak as a huge clump of ashes landed on his head and trailed into his coat.

MEANWHILE

Max screamed in horror as he dug desparately into his backpack for potions to awake Gary. His eyes lit up in joy as his hands landed on…

"Max Ether, my speciality! It restores moves of Pokemon, so maybe it will restore movement for Gary!" he cried, tossing to Max Ether at Gary.

Most unfortunately, the Max Ether landed at Arcanine's side instead due to bad aiming.

_VERY bad aiming, I should say. In fact, he threw the Max Ether ten metres off target._

Curious, Arcanine drank the Max Ether…and became more aggressive than ever.

TEAM ROCKET

Meowth immediately sprang into action and started singing 'Under the Mistletoe' in his scratchy, cat vouce. At the last part of it, Victreebel and Wobuffet pushed Jessie and James towards each other.

Uh-oh…

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Pikachu continued hopping around the cellar singing, "Pika, Pika! Pika-Pika!"

"Misty folded her arms and glared at the little mouse. "Look here, are you going to help me, or not!" asked Misty, pouting angrily.

Pikachu gave Misty an it's-not-my-fault-look and hopped around the room again.

"Piiiiiikachu?" it asked, looking at Misty as it found a bicycle.

TEAM ROCKET

Jessie and James shut their eyes in horror. Then, James managed to escape, somehow.

_Can't imagine how, though, with such wimpy arms._

James ran away, practically ecstatic with joy. Being the blur-kind he was, he thought that someone actually crushed on him.

Being the even blur-er king he was, he ran way because he wanted to remain a 'mouth-virgin', whatever that meant.

The angry Victreebel at the ruined plan gave James a sharp smack on his eyes with the leaf stalk on its head.

James ran blindly…straight into Jessie.

_Is it funny? I hope so… Please review, anyway. Thanks! _


	5. De Ja Vu

_Chapter 5: De Ja Vu_

THE OAK SITUATION

A frustrated Oak with a huge clump of ashes in his coat frowned angrily. Then, rolling his eyes, he dug into his wife's handbag and found her handphone.

He frowned and wondered with that calculative mind of his…"Hmm. If old people can't operate these stuff, maybe young ones are better at it…"

He then stomped out of the laboratory, leaving the other professors gossiping to each other and spotted an innocent four-year-old boy.

He did not mean to take out his anger on the boy, but anyway, he gave the boy an icy glare, thrust the handphone at him, and bellowed, "I'm in a very bad mood! Call Gary…OR ELSE!"

How very polite. The boy burst into tears. Oak tried to 'console' him by patting him on his back. However, he had not lost the strength he had when he was still a young man.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! He 'patted' the boy's back.

_Patted, yeah right! Even we Golems know how to pat properly and not hurt the person being patted. _

The boy screamed in pure terror as he vomited his breakfast. 'Pat' indeed.

The boy's grandmother came out of the house and glared at the 'big bully', hands on hips.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

MEANWHILE

Max dug even more frantically into his backpack, while Arcanine tried to bite his legs off.

"Waaa…Mommy!" Max sobbed miserably as Arcanine bit his bag and ripped it off Max. Max tried tugging the bag away from Arcanine as it gnawed on his bag.

Some of the salty tears dropped onto Arcanine and its flames seemed to get weaker. Max noticed this but could not cry 'unsincerely'. Therefore, one solution! Max undid his pants.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

Max grunted. "Need more to finish this Arcanine off."

Arcanine, splattered with urine, was too scared to retaliate. It sprawled over Gary and started drying itself on his clothes.

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Gary got up and squealed. He…

1) was burnt

2) stank of urine

3) stank of sweat

4) stank of drool

5) feeling horrible because his hair was sticky and sticks to his face

6) wet because of urine

7) all of the above.

The answer is, of course, (7)

TEAM ROCKET

In disgust, Jessie pushed the stinky-because-of-cologne James away from her. The wimp fell backwards, straight into the cake.

SPLAT! Wobeffet and Meowth immediately started licking the cake off James. Victreebel took the easy way out and swallowed James up whole.

Inside Victreebel, James did some soul-searching. "Why doesn't Jessie like me? Am I too uncool? Hmm…I think I need to follow the characteristics of someone cool to be cool. What about…Ash? Nah…Jessie will kill me. Wes?" At first he nodded. However, he did not want to spoil the coolness and cuteness of Wes because of sheer clumsiness and gullibility.

"What about…James Bond? After all, we have the same name…"

BACK TO THE SITUATION

"Ugh!" Misty grunted as she dragged the heavy, rusty, dusty, dirty bike over in front of Ash. She then blindfolded Ash, changed into her bikini, and signalled to Pikachu.

"Ready, Pikachu?" asked Misty.

"Pika-Pika!" it agreed. It jumped onto Ash's head and undid his blindfold.

"Hey! What did you do that for!" asked Ash, a little irritated.

Misty pressed her finger to her lips. "Shh. We have a very special show just for you. I ask for only fifteen seconds."

"What kinda show is th –"

"Shh!"

"Pika – CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" it exclaimed as it Thunder-ed the bike, reducing it to ashes.

"What the –? Are you making fun of my name?" asked the red-faced Ash angrily.

"No, no, we just…"

Ash glared at Misty. "Save it."

"Stop!" In desperation, Misty thrust the photograph of May, her rival in terms of Ash, in front of Ash's face, hoping to revive his memory.

"She's soooo cute! But…who is she?" asked Ash.

Heartbroken, Misty told him all about May.

_Thanks for the reviews! I will try to keep updating. _

_P.S. Thanks, _colosseum shipping fan _for the useful review!_


	6. Ash’s eyes are only set for Pokemon

_Chapter 6: Ash's eyes are only set for Pokemon_

THE OAK SITUATION

"You big bully, you! You gargantuan beast! You carpet seller! You pineapple! You – You – You –" blared the lady.

"I-I-I just wanted your grandson to call my grandson…" mumbled Oak.

"Very adequate apology! These are all excuses! I expected a well-refined personality from you, young man!" screamed the lady.

"Young? Did – Did you just call me young?" asked Oak dreamily, smiling vacantly into the distance, a hand stroking his own face.

"YOUNG! YEAH RIGHT! Just a slip of the tongue and you go all dreamy!" she screeched. She brandished out a mallet and started chasing Oak all over Agate, where they lived in.

TEAM ROCKET

James lit up a cigarette lighter inside Victreebel. Victreebel spat him out in anguish. It started fanning itself with the leaf stalk on its head.

James, in James Bond style, slid over to Jessie smoothly. So far so good.

Relieved, James heaved a sigh. Big mistake.

"Yuck. Your breath stinks, and you stink of body odour, mixed with Victreebel spit, and an overdose of cologne," said Jessie in disgust, offering him Listerine and some of her own perfume and hair gel.

"Ooh! Cool!" he said, GULPING down Listerine when it is meant to be used to rinse.

"AAAAAH! Hot! Hot! Hot!" cried James, snatching Victreebel's leaf stalk and used it to fan his mouth. Annoyed, Victreebel swung its stalk out of reach. When James reached out and tried to grab it, Victreebel threatened to swallow James.

James panted, snatched Jessie's long, red, perfectly gel-ed hair and started using it to fan its mouth.

"EEEEEP!" screamed Jessie in utmost disgust.

MEANWHILE

"Oh…Ew! Yuck, yuck, yuck! It is EW!" exclaimed Gary, giving Max the extremely evil eye.

"You know, urine is highly nutritious, especially those excreted by young people. Urine is specially a good plant fertiliser and…" Max blabbered on.

At Max's words, Gary immediately took out all his Plant Pokemon and started cleaning his clothes on them as Max droned on and on.

BACK TO THE SITUATION

"It's May," said Misty, trying to fight back the tears.

"Ooh! So cuuuuuuuuuute! Kuchi-Kuchi-KOO!" Ash cooed. Misty was just about to call the Institute of Mental Health, or IMH, when she saw that Ash was not cooing at May, but at a corner of the picture.

Misty frowned and went over to Ash. She found that Ash was not cooing at May, but at none other than…Combusken.

Misty burst out laughing in relief. "That's Combusken, not May!"

"Huh! Then who's May?" wondered Ash.

"Here!" said Misty, pointing at the main object in the picture.

"Huh? Where?" asked Ash, turning the picture upside down, then the right side up again.

"There!" said Misty, pointing at the brown haired girl.

"Where?" asked Ash. "Oh, forget it!" he exclaimed in exasperation, taking a large pair of scissors and cutting Combusken out. He pocketed Combusken and left the rest of the picture on the floor to rot.

"Pika-chu!" agreed Pikachu, who definitely liked Combusken more than May.

Ash picked Pikachu up and hugged it. "Okay. Why are we here? What is your name? Who exactly am I? What exactly is this place?..."

Tons more questions followed, tumbling over each other.

_Ok. I know it's pretty short. Sorry. I will update soon. I will try._


	7. Cipher’s Huge Hideout, the IMH

_Chapter 7: Cipher's Huge Hideout, the IMH_

BACK TO THE SITUATION

Misty sighed and regretted ever mallet-ing Ash. Ash she did not know any other emergency hotlines, she dialled IMH.

TEAM ROCKET

Jessie started running to the nearest Pokemon Centre. Without asking for permission, she dashed into it, screaming, "SHUT UP!" right into the stunned Nurse Joy's face.

She then started washing her hair thoroughly in the nearest bathroom, practically drowning herself.

The stunned Nurse Joy started dialling IMH.

THE OAK SITUATION

"AAH!" screamed Oak, rushing into a vacant house. He then slammed the door shut, locked it, and started dialling IMH.

"Crazy mad old woman…" he muttered.

Some passers-by outside, stunned by the not-so-well-refined Oak, started dialling IMH.

MEANWHILE

Max looked up and saw Gary rubbing his body vigorously (and maybe a little bit intimately) against his Plant Pokemon. He shook his head, let out a little giggle, and started calling IMH.

AT IMH…

"Oh!" cried a Nurse Joy, answering Misty's call.

"Ooh!" exclaimed another Nurse Joy, answering Nurse Joy's call.

"Ah!" squeaked another Nurse Joy, answering Oak's call,

"Aah!" screamed another Nurse Joy, answering the passers-by's calls.

"Ooch!" shouted another Nurse Joy, answering Max's call.

A while later, poor Ash, Jessie, the old lady, Oak and Gary were lying in the same ward, named "Pokemon Freaks", shouting insults at each other. Of course, some certain visitors and pokemon joined in.

The Nurse Joys took out their wigs and uniforms to reveal Cipher uniforms. They turned out to be…that's right, Cipher Peons.

"Yeah, all of 'em in one ward!" exclaimed one of them gleefully, locking the ward up.

"CIPHER IS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

"Once we get rid of those troublemakers…"

Who will save them? Who will save the world? Who will defeat Cipher? Who is the hero? The mystery still remains…unsolved.

_P.S. Pleeeeease Review! Thanks!_


	8. Wes got Expelled

_Chapter 8: Wes got expelled_

_Short introduction: The story is set two years before chapters 1-7_

He sat at the back of the class of Pokemon Academy in Hoenn. His sandy hair stood up as straight as an arrow on his head. Apparently, the half-a-bottle of gel he had used paid off. His long, slender legs were casually crossed, one over the other. The large, ember eyes of fifteen-years-old Wes were trained on Rui, who was sitting at the front of the room.

He immediately cast his eyes down when Rui glanced behind. However, he could not miss the beautiful, exhilarating view of her face. "Beautiful, beautiful…"he muttered, still in his reverie.

Without even noticing it, he started singing 'Blah, Blah, Blah'.

"A to Z, divide, subtract…"

His teacher frowned and marched up to him. "Excuse me young man, this is an examination!"

"…Teacher, teacher get off my back…" he sang, nodding to the tune.

The teacher was shocked at his 'incorrigible' behaviour. Either Wes was singing in such a monotonous tone or she was a 'blur' king like James; she didn't realise that was a song. After a few seconds of stunned silence, she tapped he shoulder.

Wes looked up at her. His eyes widened in horror when he saw his hawk-like teacher who would find any reason to pounce on her students. Unable to stop himself, he sang, "Don't you know you talk too much," right into her face.

"Don't you know you're …" his voice trailed off as his small, puny, slow brain probably the size of pea finally processed the information. He clapped his hand over his gaping mouth.

"Wes, your behaviour is incorrigible! After you got a scholarships to such fine school, you take it for granted and …" she started giving a long lecture.

"And all you hear, blah, blah, blah! Get out of my class, this instant!"

Wes, the attention seeker, walked slowly out of the class, savouring the moment when all eyes were trained on him. Wes gave Rui a cute, one-dimpled smile, which was quite in contrast to the grimace on Rui and the teacher's face.

The teacher immediately started jeering booing, hoping that the class would follow. However, Wes was much too popular and nobody joined in. As the teacher knew she looked very stupid (very much like an un-evolved human) with both fists in the air, screaming, "Boo! Psssssst, booo!", with nobody joining in, she stopped after a while.

Outside the classroom, Wes simply shrugged and wrote his to his fan-mail on foolscap paper. After that, he got bored and decided to write a love poem to seduce Rui.

----------

After a few long hours, the class dismissed. At once, Wes walked up to Rui.

"Rui, I have a poem for you," said Wes.

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

And so are you!"

"Uhm…that's so cliché. Sorry…I don't think that poem is good enough to get you an A for poem writing exams," said Rui nicely, having the misconception that Wes wanted her to see the poem he was going to submit for the poem writing exam.

And she walked off, leaving Wes grimacing in embarrassment.

All of a sudden, a large hand landed on Wes' shoulder, causing him to jump.

"You are expelled! This is not the first time you breached the rules of examinations!" blared his teacher, referring to the times when Wes tried throwing paper aeroplanes containing love notes to Rui during the examinations (due to poor aiming, the aeroplanes landed on the teacher's desk. Not a nice experience.)

---------

_Review, please!_


	9. More than just a Quarrel

_Chapter 9: More than just a quarrel_

Nothing to lose, Wes stuck his tongue out at her and dashed out of school.

"Damn her!" he cursed as he zoomed away on his speeder at top speed.

"What am I going to say to my parents? I can't graduate and researcher now! The school just cannot keep me for a year more, can it? By that time, I would have graduated! Dang, Dang, Dang!" he swore, banging his head on the speedometer simultaneously with his 'Dang's.

When he looked up, he saw a lorry transporting Betaspecs. The advertisement was "Can't see properly? Banging into objects without realising it? Getting major accidents? Get going with Betaspecs today!"

"Ahhh!" Wes cried. "Nooo!"

BANG! CRASH!

Seconds later, Wes was on the ground, a gigantic Betaspecs across his nose. Due to the impact, he was cursed to have a scar across his nose forever.

Wes groaned. "Do I really need Betaspecs?" were the final words he uttered before he passed out due to extreme pain.

---------

"Very stressed…Very disturbed…Best if you don't scold him…Leave him alone…"

Those were the faint words Wes heard when he just woke up. He blinked a few times and found himself in a Pokecentre's ward, parents at his side.

To his surprise, he saw his parents smiling forced smiles instead of shouting him down for getting expelled and crashing his speeder. They looked remarkably like monsters trapped in tight clowny, smiley, suits.

Shortly and stiffly, his parents patted him on the back in short, sharp jabs.

"How are you now?" they asked nonchalantly, as if they had rehearsed the speech.

Wes glanced into his bedside mirror and saw a white streak across his face where the Betaspecs had hit him. He thought of his getting expelled. He thought of his speeder being crashed. He thought of this fiasco in trying to seduce Rui. Most of all, he thought of his scar.

"Very, very bad," he muttered, looking at a poetry board nearby. Could it contain love poems?

"How did you get expelled? You tried to seduce your teacher, again!" asked Wes' father, referring to what Wes tried to do when he was thirteen.

The words sounded as if from a faraway place to Wes. His eyes were glued to the poem. He strained his eyes and managed to catch the first sentence.

"I have always loved her," he mouthed softly, reciting the first line of the poem to himself.

"WHAT!" asked his father incredulously, jumping out of his seat. The nurses attending to patients having heart attacks glared at him disapprovingly.

"Get ready for a trashing at home!" screamed Wes' father, as his mother whacked him on the head with her handbag. They then got up to leave.

"Hmm-hmm?" asked Wes, not paying attention. He scribbled down the rest of the poem on his hand.

"Huh? Mom? Dad? Where are you?"

---------

A day passed. Wes was discharged.

"Oh-kay. Your speeder is at the repair shop. It should be ready in a few days' time," a Nurse Joy said. "Oh, yes. And it will be delivered straight to your house."

Wes nodded absently. He then paid someone with a Pidgeot to bring him straight to his doorstep in Orre. He nodded. "Six hours."

"Fine…" muttered Wes ungratefully.

---------

Wes chucked two hundred dollars at the Pidgeot's owner's face. At. We all know his aiming nis not perfect. The money landed straight into Pidgeot's beak, and it clipped it firmly.

"Not my problem," Wes said, walking into his house and slamming and locking the door straight in his face.

Once he turned around, he saw his parents glaring right into the pupils of his eyes.

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_How was it so far? Sorry. I just love stopping at points of suspense. Please review! Thanks!_


	10. Training and Growing up

_Chapter 10: Training and Growing up_

"How did you get expelled?" snarled his mother.

"I-I-I…" Wes stammered.

"Stop. Why is your hand so dirty?" asked his father.

"It's ju-just…" his voice trailed off as his father saw the love poem copied down on his hand.

"YOU SHOWED THIS TO YOUR TEACHER!"

"No-no…I…"

"Get out! Come back when you get some sense drilled into you!" screamed his parents, pushing him out of the house and slamming and licking the door in his face. On the door, there was a poster pasted recently by someone whom he had a rough idea of which stated, "Do onto others as you want others to do onto you".

Wes glared at it. He glared at everything. He did not know how to live by himself. He thought that the first step was to get his very own Pokemon. Resigned, he sat at his doorstep and waited for his speeder.

---------

A few days passed. Wes lived solely off scraps from the bin. His parents simply ignored him and left him on the doorstep to rot.

Thankfully, his speeder arrived. He immediately zoomed off in search on Pokemon, careful to put on a certain pair of Betaspecs which was in his repaired speeder.

In the distance, two Pokemon could be seen being trained by their owner.

"Espeon, Psychic!" cried the owner, trying to train Espeon on the other Pokemon, Umbreon.

As Wes sped past, his temptation grew and he stuck out his hands and grabbed Umbreon and Espeon by their tails.

The angry Umbreon and Espeon started Faint Attack-ing and Psychic-ing him respectively. Although Wes was horribly mentally harmed, Betaspecs enabled him to see the road in front of him and he continued driving.

Once he thought that they were far enough from Espeon and Umbreon's real owner, he stopped. He then got out of his speeder, Espeon and Umbreon held in an undignified manner by their tails. Upon noticing the annoyed looks on their faces, he dropped them immediately.

"Sorry, sorry. I was desparate," admitted Wes.

"Desparate git," Espeon told Umbreon through telepathy, while licking its sore tail.

"I know," replied Umbreon.

"But he's got the nerve," Espeon remarked.

"I know. Our owner is definitely not so brave."

"Ex-owner. Anyway, let's stick with him for a while; he looks like a potentially good trainer."

"Once we get really powerful, we will just torture him mentally, maybe physically."

---------

**2 Years Later.**

So, Wes trained his Pokemon, day after day, after day. Soon, they shared a strong bond, or so Wes thinks. Espeon and Umbreon still shared the same plan two years ago.

Over the past two years, Wes won a lot of battles and got a lot of cash. He soon rented a small house in a small village and became very famous. Villagers worshipped him.

Wes lay down on his big, fluffy, Flaffy-print bed. He was just about to eat his Ditto-like purple jelly when the doorbell rang.

Grumbling to himself, he opened the door. He inhaled deeply when he saw his biggest crush at his doorstep.

"You…You came for me?" asked Wes dreamily.

"The people told me you lived here. Uhm…you fell out with your family?"

Wes nodded glumly.

"Okaaaaay…I'm on a mission to rescue some…Aish Katcheng or something…from the Institute of Mental Health…He his held up together with some friends by some…Sifer…" she said uncertainly, memorising the quest her teacher had given her.

Wes looked thoroughly disappointed that she had not come for him. Instead, she came to rescue some Aish Katcheng person.

"Uhm. You expertised in snagging last time. So…I was wondering if…you…could help me?" asked Rui with innocent puppy-dog eyes.

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_Okay. There. Another chapter done! Um. I know it's a bit lame, but I don't own Pokemon Colosseum. Sorry! Please Review!_

* * *


	11. Wes and Rui to the Rescue, NOT

_Chapter 11: Wes and Rui to the rescue…NOT!_

"Oh. So you graduated?" asked Wes. Rui nodded eagerly. "Ok. Fine. Let me get my trusted pals first," Wes continued, calling for Espeon and Umbreon.

"Oh, so you caught them? It must take such bravery and expertise to catch such powerful pokemon. I had chosen the perfect person to help me in this rescue mission!" cried Rui, impressed.

Wes blushed and sweatdropped. He did not really catch them. Just stole them. But Rui did not need to know that.

"Ooh, they aren't in pokeballs? They must trust you a lot, so much that they don't need pokeballs…" mused Rui.

Wes turned into a deeper shade of pink. He did not put them in pokeballs not because he was trusted a lot, but because he had absolutely no idea where to get them. Again he lied and said, "Yeah…Yeah…"enjoying seeing Rui getting impressed by him.

"Oh, and since you are such a trustable pokemon owner, and also because you are an Expert at snagging, I believe you have the right to this snag machine I stole while on another mission," Rui smiled. "It might help you in future."

Wes took the snag machine, feeling guiltier and guiltier every second. He had only passed the test to get the rank "Expert" in snagging by copying the exact same moves from the friend next to him. However, he had forgotten everything over the past two years.

"Ok! First stop, Ice Kacang shop!" cried Wes as they got into his speeder.

"Huh? Why?" asked the puzzled Rui.

"You will see! I will succeed in my mission!" smiled Wes confidently.

---------

"Ok! Everyone put your hands over your heads and crouch down!" cried Wes, jumping straight into action as soon as he reached the Ice Kacang shop. He brandished the snag machine as if it were a gun and waved it around.

"Uhm…Snag machines aren't guns…" mumbled Rui, as everyone in the shop laughed their heads off.

Wes gave everyone the evil eye and stormed to the shop owner.

"Where's Aish Katcheng! He must be here, right? His name sounds like Ice Kacang!" Wes shouted into his face.

Rui slapped her forehead. "That's the dumbest assumption in the whole wide world…" she gave an inaudible mumble.

"Uhm…" said the shop owner, offering Wes a bowl of Ice Kacang.

"Stop pretending! You are a member of Sifer, aren't you!" Wes cried.

The poor, puzzled shop owner was at a loss. He then dug into his drawers and found a sieve.

"Here, sieve-r," said the shop owner, who had a low education level, tossing the sieve to Wes.

Wes dodged it and glared at the owner. "This is the IMH, your hideout!" he accused.

"Huh? You are H? Is that your codename or something? Well, sorry, H, but this is NOT whatever you are looking for! Get out! Scram! Shoo! Shoo!" cried the owner, chasing Wes and Rui out with a rolling pin.

Rui shrugged. The totally redfaced Wes was not happy about being humiliated in front of Rui.

"Psychic, Espeon!" cried Wes. Espeon twitched and Psychic-ed everyone…including Rui. The only two it spared were Wes and Umbreon.

Wes grabbed the sieve and gave Espeon a light hit and it retaliated with a Swift. Thank goodness Wes was still mentally fit, though. He then carried Rui out, Espeon and Umbreon at his heels.

"Dang!" exclaimed Wes as he put Rui into his speeder. He remembered what happened the last time he said "Dang!" and gagged himself with his handkerchief.

When Rui recovered, she blinked, and then glared at Wes. "Just for your information, that was a complete fiasco!" Rui glared at Wes. Wes took out his gag immediately.

"I'm so sorry Rui," Wes said, then paused. Now was the perfect time to recite Rui the poem which he had memorized. Wes blinked. "This is from the bottom of my heart," he said.

"I have always loved her,

She is standing right before me…"

After Wes recited the whole poem, he looked nervously at Rui, only to find out that she was…sleeping.

Wes glared at her, gagged himself, and started swearing into the gag. A sound, sounding uncannily like 'Dang' even through the gag, erupted out of his mouth.

Wes then checked the map for the IMH once he was done swearing. Although it was obvious and eye-catching enough to be seen, Wes' puny mind practically blacked out at the 'tons of information' on the map.

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_Yep. Ok. Another chapter done! Please review! And I may not be writing for a long, long time until October. Sorry. And please review!_


	12. Off to IMH!

_Chapter 12: Off to IMH!_

"Espe…Espeon!" remarked Espeon, pointing its tail at itself.

The stupid Wes did not realise that Espeon wanted to see the map, and thought that it wanted to take him to the IMH. He carried Espeon and put it on the driver's seat.

Espeon twitched its tail angrily and used one of its hind legs to kick the map out of Wes' hands. It then examined the map and used its tail to point at the IMH.

"Ohh. I see…" said Wes, FINALLY getting it. He then sped off.

---------

Minutes later, they arrived at the IMH. By that time, Rui was fresh and awake.

The IMH was big, huge; simply enormous. A complicated plan started to form in Rui's head as they went to the information counter.

"Hmm…The snag machine may not be a gun, but…it can snag! Hmm…" simple un-complex ideas formed in Wes' mind probably the size of a molecule.

"Damn you idiots! Put your hands up in the air before I snag your necks! Hand over Aish Katcheng! You are a member of Sifer, aren't you? This is Sifer's hideout, I know!" cried Wes.

"Stupid blabbermouth. Now Sifer is on the alert…" mumbled Rui, as her marvellous plan crumbled into ashes.

Wes was immediately taken away by the arms and was forced into a ward, which was stupidly located right next to "Pokemon Freaks".

"Aish Katcheng! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" pleaded Wes as the Cipher Peons locked him out.

In the meantime, during all the commotion, Rui cursed and sneaked out with Espeon and Umbreon.

---------

However hard Wes shouted, his shouts were inaudible due to the commotion in the "Pokemon Freaks" ward. Jessie and James were inside Victreebel, shouting their heads off at each other. Gary was being a combination of a wet blanket and a spoilt brat, complaining loudly to goodness-knows-who and Misty was desparately trying to feed Ash with information from the past to revive his memory but to no avail. Oak was having an intense verbal war with the old lady. Amidst all the screams and commotion, Max stood aside, being ignored. He was giving a long, lengthy lecture on how one could get amnesia. To make matters worse, all the pokemon (except Victreebel) were chasing and duelling each other around the room.

"Don't you remember? Team Rocket?" asked Misty.

Ash screwed up his face and looked as if he was in a severe case of constipation.

"Oooooooooooo…Yeeeeess….I remember!" he said happily. He glanced slyly at Pikachu, which was being chased all over the room by Arcanine.

"Pikachu! Thunder Team Rocket to the moon!" Ash cried.

"Pika…CHUUUUUU!"

"Waaah! Team Rocket is blasting off again!" Jessie, James and Meowth cried out. Still in Victreebel, they disappeared into the sky, never to be heard off again.

"We've GOT to rescue Professor Oak's Blastoise!" said Ash, putting on a brave and determined front.

Everyone in the room turned to him incredulously.

"We've got to save ourselves first, stupido!" Gary sneered.

The question remained unsolved, even by Max: But how?

---------

Wes, in the next ward, managed to hear snippets of what was happening in the "Pokemon Freaks" ward. He heard someone ask his Pikachu to use Thunder on some…Rocket which was travelling to the moon, or something. And something about rescuing Blastoise from some Professor Oak, whatever that meant. He then decided to help and do his best to rescue Blastoise.

"Who is Professor Oak? Hmm…" his eyes lit up when he saw a gigantic oak tree through the window. He walked towards the window and smashed the brittle glass pane with his snag machine.

-------------------

_Ok. I know it is short and…blah. The next chapter has 1 dark paragraph. Sorry. Only 1. Anyway, I sneaked on for this chapter. AND MY MATHS EXAM IS TOMORROW! So…Appreciate my efforts and review! _


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